


A Mother's Love

by Bam4Me



Series: WhiteGate [4]
Category: Stargate SG-1, White Collar
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Sha're being an amazing mommy even thought she', but not really, just ascended, s 'dead'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 12:59:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3811408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bam4Me/pseuds/Bam4Me
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mother doesn't need to hold you for you to know she loves you.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Mother's Love

Sha're may be 'dead,' but she was no dead beat mother.

Neal had only ever been held by her twice in his life, the first the day he was born, and the last the day she died, but you don't need to hold someone to show them how much you loved them.

It was generally against the rules to speak to people un-ascended, but there were exceptions to every rule. Neal would know, he excelled at finding them.

Neal had spent a long time 'grieving' over his mama. He wasn't sure what a mess he would actually be if he'd honestly lost her.

Nelly was curled up on his and Shifu's bed the first time he ever saw her again. His face was wet from tears and he blew into the tissue once more to try to help his breathing, but it was getting harder the longer he cried. Daddy and Papa were off world and Shifu was keeping his distance after being firmly told not to touch him. His whole body felt over worked and sensitive. He didn't want to be touched.

Well, he said Shifu kept his distance, but he was just sitting in the corner of their room now, meditating. Nelly let out another stifled sob and threw the tissue away in a fit of frustration, looking tired.

"Nay, my sweet child you should let your brother help." Nelly sat up at the soft words, his eyes unfocused and dazed, settling on the glowing form of his mother crouched next to the bed and looking worried.

"Mama. Daddy said I might not see you again."

She smiled at Nelly, hand ghosting over his cheek in a way that tingled against his skin. He dimly registered Shifu getting up and coming to sit next to him on the bed as Sha're smiled down at them.

"Daddy is mostly right. I should not be here, I could get in trouble. But I won't say anything that would make the others interfere. I won't listen to my child cry though if I could help him."

Nelly sniffled and sat up more, "The others. The others that glow?"

She smiled and reached out to set one hand on Shifu's arm while the boy looked at her, "Yes, deerheart. Others would shake their heads at me talking to you, but I can say all I wish as long as I don't guild you."

Nelly made a confused sound, "Why's that bad? Mommy's and Daddy's are 'posed to guild kids right?"

Sha're made a small noise coming to sit on the bed between them her arms not quite touching them, but still felt. It was weird. "To guild you to knowledge that you would not have otherwise found."

Nelly made a small noise and curled up again, this time facing her. He didn't cry again, quietly napping with his mother and brother while they sat with him for the rest of the afternoon.

Nelly slowly stopped feeling so lost and sensitive with so many afternoons like this between the three of them.

***

Neal woke up next to Mozzie on stark white sheets the morning after they had moved into the house of June and Byron Ellington in New York.

Mozzie had protested them sleeping together at first, saying that he didn't agree to move in with him just to sleep with him, Neal had protested that sleep didn't mean sex and begged him to stay because he wouldn't sleep at all otherwise.

Mozzie was slowly warming up to waking up with Neal wrapped around him in the mornings, falling asleep with him curled up at his side at night.

Neal's eyes blinked rapidly, trying to get the bright sun ot of his eyes. It was a big open space flat though, and so the light would be hard to keep out if at all. He looked around a bit when he realized that he was alone in the bed and frowned,hearing voices coming from the balcony.

He tiredly got up and pulled a sweater out of the wardrobe, pulling it on, on top of his sleep pants and stumbled out into the warm sunshine.

"Neal, you sure slept in this morning."

Neal frowned, slipping into the seat next to Mozzie at the table and frowning when he opened his eyes to get blinded again, "It's bright. Bed was warm, tired."

Mozzie snickered while June took pity on the nineteen year old and poured him a cup of coffee. When Neal had had a sufficient few seconds to blink in the bright light enough to see Mozzie giving him a worried look, Mozzie cleared his throat a little. "Your uh..." Mozzie's voice dropped low, so they wouldn't be heard too well over Byron and June's quiet chatter about something in the newspaper and Neal frowned, waking up the rest of the way at Moz's worried tone, "Your mom is here."

Neal's eyes went big. Mozzie had met his mother before, lots of times since Neal was eighteen actually, but Sha're hardly ever showed herself to strangers. He looked around the balcony and saw Sha're standing at the edge of the balcony, a long tan dress and sandals on and looking out into the city with curious eyes.

"Mama."

June and Byron looked at him curiously when Neal slipped off his chair and rushed past them to get to her. She turned to Neal with amused eyes and held her hands out to Neal to take in his. Neal met her halfway, his palms up so she could set her warm glowing ones on his. They couldn't embrace like he'd always wanted, but he never felt too far away when she was near.

He dropped his voice low, not wanting to be overheard, "You know most people think you're dead, you can't just show yourself to strangers."

She gave him a secretive smile that made Neal grin like an idiot back. He loved his mama's smile. "They are to be trusted Neal. Not with everything, but they would believe it if you told them others thought me dead. You can let them know I'm not."

Neal looked back at June and Byron and smiled. They were looking at him knowingly in a way that unsettled him just a little, "You trust them, Mama?"

"Yes, baby, they'll be good for you. They seem like family."

Neal turned back to his mother and grinned again, "Do you like the city?"

She pulled back from him and turned to look out at it again, "There are so many people. Everything about this world is so different from Abydos. It's big, and many different languages, and new things. Neal, this world is wonderful, and terrible. I hope you know that."

Neal's face fell a little, "I know. It could be bad to stay here, but it's where all my family is."

She nodded, "So many people on this world believe themselves to be the only creatures in the universe. But, this world still wants to go out and see for itself."

Neal nodded, "The city though?"

She gave him a wry look, "It is full of culture, religion, acceptance... and pollution."

Neal rolled his eyes, "You can say if you don't like it, you know."

"I know. I would never tell such a lie though."

"Thanks."

***

"Tea of a purple flower-"

"Chamomile?"

"No, not as such I believe."

"If you don't know what it's called we can't give it to him."

"Will you both stop arguing. I took a midol, that should make the cramping stop." Sha're and Mozzie both frowned at Neal. Neither fully approved of medication, despite the fact that it is natural supplements made into pill form. Kind of. Okay, Mama didn't like him taking pills because she knew it could hurt his liver, Mozzie didn't approve of him not sharing.

El looked between the two of them fascinated while Mozzie shoved all the tea boxes back into the pantry.

"Honey, I'm home!" The front door opened and closed and Neal looked down the hallway from his spot at the counter with a frown. Peter looked way too cheerful. "Ah, Neal. What has you so sour?"

Mozzie snorted from where he was pouring a glass of wine and ignored Sha're's disapproving look. They fought sometimes, Neal had learned to ignore it.

"Neal is experiencing contractions of his womb, this causes pain."

Peter came into the room and gave Sha're an odd look before looking over at Neal, "You're... going into labor?"

"Hardly, I got a cramp, Peter."

Peter nodded cautiously and looked back at Sha're before holding out his hand, "Hi, I'm Peter Burke, Neal's partner, you are?"

Sha're looked at Peter's hand in amusement without taking it and El made a slight coughing sound before shaking her head when Peter looked at her. He retracted his hand with a sheepish look and frowned, looking at everyone in the room suspiciously.

"Peter, this is my mother, Sha're."

Peter gave Neal an unamused look, "Neal, your mother has been dead since you were eight. That's not funny."

"Do I look like I'm joking?"

Peter looked back at Sha're and gave her a long look. She did look just like Neal, same facial structure, same hair. Different eyes and darker skin though. "Jesus. He, he draws you all the time, I thought he just remembered you from when he was a kid, but, here you are. You look just like him."

She smiled sadly and looked over at Neal, "I think he looks like his daddy."

"Daddy thinks I look like you."

Sha're smiled, "Well, you do have the perfect genes I suppose."

Neal just grinned at her excitedly while Peter took in a shuddering breath.

"How is that possible?"

Neal looked at his partner with tired eyes, "Well, it's kind of like she's on a whole nother level or something I guess."

Mozzie let out a snort before hitting Neal on the shoulder when wine went up his nose painfully, leaving the room to snicker in peace.

Peter looked curious, this was probably going to be good.

***

Neal still thought of it sometimes.

The way it felt to be wrapped up in Sha're's arms that one time he got it. The way he felt so secure and safe even as they ran for their lives. The way he'd been ripped from them only to never feel them again.

But he also thought of other things.

Like, how she laughed when they talked. How she and Mozzie fought over everything that might involve his health and safty. Like how she talked with El about being a mother and how her duties transcended physicality because Neal was her duty, not safty to herself. How Peter had looked so lost at someone telling him that his wife would protect any child they had with no thought to herself, and she wouldn't regret it. The look of understanding on his face when she said he would do the same thing too if it came to it.

He thought of how it made him tingle when she let her not-there fingertips trail over his face when she looked like she just wanted to wrap him up in her arms and not let him go. How proud she looked when his fathers did it for her when she needed them to. How the three of them laughed together and pretended that Neal didn't know how in love all of them were.

He thought of her soft voice singing to him at night when he was alone and restless, following him into his sleep when he needed her most.

He didn't need her to wrap him up to know how much she loved him. He just knew.


End file.
